All Or Nothing
by purplepagoda
Summary: Five years as partners. Five years of secrets, and things left unsaid. Will it all change, one night, or will he let her walk away? If they've learned anything, it's that relationships are never simple, and theres always more than meets the eye.
1. Late Night Chats

He opens the door. She looks at him, with a look he can't define. He takes a moment, a breath, and then asks.

"What are you doing here? It's late."

"We need to talk," she answers.

"You sound serious."

"I am," she admits.

"Come in," he offers.

He leads her into the living room.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," she answers.

"What's on your mind?"

"I need to know."

"Know what?"

"The truth," she answers.

"About what?" he questions.

"How this is going to end."

"Who says it has to?"

"How can it work?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"I don't think that I can do this anymore."

"You can't, or won't."

"Won't. I can't do this. I can't keep doing this with you."

"I thought that we were just having fun."

"It's fun until someone gets hurt."

"Who is going to get hurt? We're both adults."

"Right," she nods.

"Something on your mind?"

"We've been doing this for five years."

"I thought that you were ok with this."

"For five years anytime we get hurt, or just want..."

"I thought it's what you wanted," he argues.

"To have sex with you every chance that I get?"

"I've never heard you complain."

"I used to be ok with this arrangement."

"You started it. Five years ago, on my birthday, you started it. We agreed to just keep it casual. Is that not what you want?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "But this isn't working for me anymore," she admits.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know that..."

"That what?"

"Never mind. I should have known that this was a mistake," she replies, she turns and heads for the door.

"Don't go. Let's talk about this," he begs.

"Talk about what? What is there to talk about. You're ok with this. You like it."

"You don't?"

"Not anymore."

"Ziva. Why are you so angry at me?"

"Because I'm tired..." she stops mid-sentence.

"Of what?"

"Of being second best. I'm tired of being your back up plan. Maybe I opened Pandora's box five years ago, but I want to close it. I just want to..."

"You can't put a genie back in the bottle."

"It's partners, or nothing. I can't keep doing this. I thought that I was ok with it, but I'm not. Not anymore. I am not twenty-three anymore."

"I never said that you were."

"I was naive to think that I could ever be more than.."

"More than what?"

"Someone to screw."

"I never said that you weren't."

"Actions speak louder than words, sometimes.

"Where is this coming from? Why are you having a problem with this now?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"How could I, you never let me in."

"Because I know that if I let you in, you will tear me apart."

"You don't know that," he argues.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the person who you call when there is no one else around. I don't want to be the one who you want when you're hurt."

"I know that."

"But nothing ever changes. You're never going to change, and I guess I've got to learn how to deal with that."

"Ok."

"Ok, what?"

"Ok, I think that you're angry, and I get that."

"But you're not willing to change?"

"I can't answer that right now. I need some time to think."

She pulls open the door, "I only hope that you don't take too long."

She drives home in the rain. The rain obstructs her window. The tears obstruct her thought process. She reaches her apartment, and wanders into the rain. By the time she gets inside she's soaked. Her hair, and clothes smell like rain, and despair. She unlocks the door to her apartment. She steps in, and slams the door behind her. She makes it to the couch before she collapses. She doesn't even bother taking off her jacket.

In the middle of the night she wakes up, and manages to make her way to her room. She peels off her boot, and her jacket. She covers her head with a pillow, and prays to wake up into a new reality. She turns the clock the other direction, so it won't keep reminding her that she's not asleep yet. She lies wide awake, in the middle of her bed.

She closes her eyes, but peace doesn't come. Answers don't pop into her head. No one knocks on her door. No prince shows up on a stead to save her. This was her mess now. No one else was coming. She was alone.

There was no going back. There was no taking back the moments that they had stolen. There was no erasing the memories they had made. There was no pretending that it never happened. There was nothing she could do to make it go away. Nothing she tried made the pain go away, and she knew, it wasn't going anywhere. This was something she was going to have to face, whether she wanted to, or not.


	2. Spilling The Beans

_A/N: Please bear with me here. Don't jump to conclusions over the next couple of chapters. Just trust me. It's not all as it seems, exactly._

_

* * *

Gibbs approaches Tim. They watch as Tony, and Ziva stand in silence, staring at a picture on the screen._

_"What's wrong with them?"_

_"They wouldn't say much, all I know is that they had a fight, and aren't speaking to each other," Tim reveals. _

_"I see," Gibbs nods._

_"What should we do?"_

_"Just give them some space," Gibbs replies._

_"Ok," Tim nods._

_"Ziva, why don't you go check with Abby, see if she has anything?"_

_"Ok," she agrees, leaving the squad room. She hops on the elevator, and rides down to Abby's lab. She finds Abby standing at the computer. _

_"Do you have anything for me?"_

_"I'm working on it. I'm hoping to get a match on the prints within the next couple of minutes."_

_"I'll wait."_

_"You'll wait? Since when did patience become one of your virtues?"_

_"I'd rather be down here."_

_Abby turns around. "What's going on?"_

_"Nothing," Ziva lies._

_"Are you feeling alright?"_

_"I'm fine," Ziva replies._

_"Are you sure? You don't look very good."_

_"I'm fine," she lies again, trying to push away a gnawing feeling. _

_Abby watches her closely for a few moments. Ziva swallows hard. Abby quickly spins around, grabbing a trash can, and holding it out in front of Ziva, just in time for her to vomit. Abby proceeds to sit Ziva on a stool, with the trash can. She grabs a bottle of water, and then returns. _

_"So how are you really feeling?"_

_"Like crap. I almost threw up while we were at the crime scene this morning."_

_"How long have you been feeling sick?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"You know that I am the queen of forensics."_

_"I never argued that."_

_"I could analyze your vomit, and then I would know all your secrets."_

_"I don't have any secrets."_

_"Don't lie."_

_"Of course I have secrets, everyone has secrets."_

_"What is your secret? Why are you sick?"_

_"You seem to have some sort of theory."_

_"I'm trying not to jump to conclusions."_

_"But it seems as if you already have."_

_"I haven't. There are a lot of possible reasons that you could be throwing up."_

_"Is any one of them sticking out, in particular?"_

_"Yes," she nods, "I know that... well, let's just say I know about your other secret."_

_"What other secret?"_

_"The one you think that no one else, but the party involved, knows. I know, I've known for a while."_

_"Define a while?"_

_"About a year," she answers._

_"Oh. I see."_

_"But I surmise that it has been going on much longer than that."_

_"It has," she nods._

_"I can tell by the look on your face that you're scared out of your mind, which can only mean one thing."_

_"What's that?"_

_"You're afraid you're going to get caught."_

_"Why do you think that?"_

_"Certain events, can cause other things to come to light."_

_"Are you actually going to ask me a question, or just tell me what you know?"_

_"If I tested your vomit would I find traces of blood in it? In the blood would I find elevated levels of HCG?"_

_"Yes," she nods._

_"Are you certain?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And what is the course of action that you are planning to set out on, to deal with this?"_

_"I plan to do nothing to change it," she admits._

_"And you're sure about that?"_

_"Yes."_

_"When did you reach that decision?"_

_"Yesterday."_

_"And how long have you known about this?"_

_"It was confirmed two weeks ago."_

_"How often have you been having issues?"_

_"Today was the first time."_

_"Interesting."_

_"I'm not going to tell him."_

_"At all? I think that would be impossible. He'll eventually find out."_

_"I can't hide it, I know that, but I don't want him to know that..."_

_"I see," Abby nods._

_"Do you think that's wrong?"_

_"I will support whatever you do."_

_"I don't want support, I want advice."_

_"You have to tell him."_

_"What if nothing changes?"_

_"You'll never know if you don't tell him."_

_"How am I going to tell Gibbs?"_

_"Tell me what?" he asks from behind them. _

_Abby looks at the screen, "That I couldn't find a match to the fingerprint yet," she chimes in._

_"Hurry it up," he insists._

_"I'll have something for you in a couple of minutes," Abby promises._

_"It smells like vomit in here. Did one of you vomit?"_

_Ziva looks at the trash can beside her, briefly, "No," she answers quickly._

_"It's a chemical that I was using earlier, it has a terribly distinct smell," Abby lies._

_"Call me when you get something," Gibbs insists as he heads back to the elevator._

_They let a few moments to pass before either one of them speak again. Gibbs has already gotten on the elevator, but they give themselves a few extra moments, to ensure that he's really gone. _

_Abby looks at Ziva, "So are you scared?"_

_"I don't know what to be. I just know that I don't have any idea what I'm doing, or how I'm going to do it."_

_"You'll figure it out."_

_"How? I know very little when it comes to this particular subject."_

_"That's what they make books for."_

_"I don't think that it's something you can learn from a book."_

_"A lot of it isn't, but some of it is."_

_"Gibbs will not like this."_

_"Tell him, as soon as you can."_

_"What's he going to say?"_

_"I don't know, I haven't had any personal experience when it comes to telling him something like this."_

_"I don't even know how to go about telling someone."_

_"You just tell them."_

_"Tell them what?"_

_"Just say it."_

_"So I should just walk up to him, and say what?"_

_"You only have to tell him two words. It's simple."_

_"I haven't even said it out loud yet, not even to myself."_

_"You haven't?"_


	3. Cast Iron Stomach

_"No, if I say it, it's real."_

_"It's real either way."_

_"I know that."_

_"But you're in denial?"_

_"Yes," she nods._

_"How long have you been in denial?"_

_"Long enough," she admits._

_"So when..."_

_"August Third."_

_"The middle of the summer?"_

_"It is going to be miserable."_

_"Yeah," Abby agrees._

_"You should probably practice saying it."_

_"To who?"_

_"You can practice saying it to me," Abby offers._

_"Ok," Ziva agrees._

_"Just say it."_

_"But if I say it I can't take it back."_

_"You can't take it back either way. You not saying it, isn't going to make it go away. You know that, right?"_

_"Yes I know that."_

_"So just say it."_

_"I'm pregnant," she utters._

_"That wasn't so bad was it?"_

_"I would rather be interrogated than have to tell someone that."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because they get all doe-eyed, and gooey, and they don't want you to do too much. And then they start treating you like an invalid."_

_"They will not."_

_"Yes, they will."_

_"So what?"_

_"I don't like being treated like an invalid. I am a perfectly capable individual. I can take care of myself. I can protect myself. I can carry my own stuff."_

_"I can't believe that you're having a baby."_

_"You can't believe it?"_

_"What do you want, and don't tell me that you don't care just as long as it's healthy, because that's a bunch of bull-crap."_

_"I have no preference, because I am equally ignorant on how to take care of either one."_

_"You should tell Tony."_

_"I can't."_

_"Why not?"_

_"I don't want to. He's... he's the same person he's always been. He's not going to be able to handle this."_

_"At least give him the chance."_

_"I can't. Abby, I'm ok with getting hurt. I've learned how to deal with that, but this is different. It isn't just me."_

_"You can tell Gibbs that we got a match."_

_Tony paces around the squad room. Gibbs watches him from his desk._

_"DiNozzo, you have a problem?"_

_"Sorry boss. I just have a lot on my mind."_

_"Maybe you should stop being an idiot about it."_

_"Meaning?"_

_"Rules are not always hard and fast, sometimes they are meant to be broken. Sometimes there are worth being broken."_

_"Boss?" Tony throws him a confused look._

_"Tell her the truth."_

_"What are you talking about boss?"_

_"You know what I'm talking about."_

_"But..."_

_"We'll deal with it," Gibbs answers before Tony can finish._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"You better tell her soon."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because if you don't, you're going to lose her."_

_"How can you tell? Your gut?"_

_"It's more than my gut," he answers._

_"Care to enlighten me?"_

_"No, figure it out on your own."_

_"How?"_

_"First off, stop being an idiot."_

_"I'll try."_

_"Try harder."_

_"Ok," Tony agrees._

_"Not here," Gibbs clarifies._

_"Right boss," he nods._

_The elevator dings, and Abby, and Ziva look up. They find Tony coming into the lab. _

_"Abby can you give us a minute?" Ziva questions._

_"Of course," Abby nods in agreement, going into her office, closing the door behind her._

_"It smells like vomit in her," Tony remarks._

_"That's probably because you're standing next to a trash can full of vomit."_

_"Why? Who blew chunks?"_

_"That would be me."_

_"You? You have a cast iron stomach. Nothing makes you sick. What's going on?"_

_"Tony..."_

_"Yes, Ziva?"_

_"I need to tell you something."_

_"What's that?"_

_She stands up. "Have a seat," she offers him the stool._

_"What's wrong?" he questions._

_"Take a seat," she replies._

_He complies. "What's going on?"_

_"I don't really know how to say what I need to tell you. I don't think that there is any easy, or right way to do it. I don't know how to make it any less than what it is. I just know that you should know. I don't know if I really want you to know, but you have the right to know. I don't really know what I want I just..."_

_"Know this isn't it?" he finishes for her._

_"Exactly."_

_"So what is? What do you want to tell me? Are you sick? Are you terminally ill?"_

_"No, I'm not terminally ill."_

_"So why do you have that look on your face?"_

_"What look?" she inquires._

_"A look that says you're about to completely throw me into a tailspin."_

_"Because I am," she admits._

_"How? What's going on? Is it something that I can fix?"_

_"You can't fix it."_

_"Can it be fixed?"_

_"No. It's something that will resolve itself."_

_"It will resolve itself?"_

_"Yes, it takes about nine months, but then it resolves itself."_

_"What are you trying to tell me?"_

_She takes a deep breath, "I'm pregnant," she admits._


	4. Tree Climbing

The phone wakes her. She pulls the phone to her ear.

"David," she answers.

"Are you going to join us, anytime today?"

"Tony why are you calling me?"

"Ziva it's nine o'clock. You were supposed to be here two hours ago. Gibbs is pissed."

"I'll be there soon."

"Hurry."

She hangs up. She opens her eyes, and sits up in bed. She looks around the room. Most of it had been a dream. Except the part...she pushes the thought from her mind. She moves out of the bed into the bathroom. She brushes her teeth. She tosses a few items on the counter into the trash can. She pulls her hair into a pony tail, and grabs the first items of clothing she encounters.

"I guess this is as good as it's going to get."

She grabs her keys, and heads to work. She walks into the squad room, and is met by three pairs of eyes.

"Nice of you to join us," Gibbs comments.

"It won't happen again."

"McGee, DiNozzo, go grab some coffee," he suggests.

"Ooh, you're in trouble now," Tony teases.

She throws a death glare his way. Once the elevator doors close, Gibbs motions for Ziva.

"What's going on with you?" he questions.

"Nothing," she lies.

"You were late last week too," he points out.

"What would you like from me? Do you want an apology?"

"I want an explanation," he replies.

"I'm not ready to give you one."

"Because you don't have one?"

"I have one, but you won't like it."

"I rarely do."

"Gibbs... trust me when I say, you don't want to know."

"Really? Because I think I already know what's going on."

"I doubt that."

"There are things that you may be able to hide from DiNozzo, or McGee, but I know everything. And I do mean everything."

"If you know everything why aren't you angry?"

"I'm not going to make it an issue, if it isn't one."

"It's not."

"But it's about to be, isn't it?"

"It may become one, yes."

He opens his desk drawer, he hands her something. She looks at him in confusion. "This is as much as I can help you. Do you have a plan?"

"To continue doing what I'm doing, but I'm going to do more to be on time for work."

"Ok, as long as we're clear," he nods.

"Thanks," she turns to go back to her desk.

"Ziva?"

She pivots, and turns to face him again. "Yes?"

"Be prepared for the war that you're about ready to begin."

"I am."

"I've got your back, but there is only so much I can do."

"I know"

"Understood?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Oh, and no climbing trees, or jumping from building roof, to building roof."

"I don't do that on a daily basis."

"Where did they go for coffee?"

"Chile?" she smiles.

When they returns Tony sits a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Thanks."

"You've already got one. It smells terrible, what is it?"

"It's ginger," she answers.

"It smells like hippie tea."

"I like it," she answers.

"Two weeks ago it was peppermint tea, now it's ginger? What ever happened to regular tea? When did you get so fancy?"

"I'm just trying new things," she answers.

"DiNozzo, drink your coffee, and shut up."

"Yes boss."

"So Ziva are you done being late now?" Tim questions.

"Oh, Gibbs that reminds me I have an eye doctor's appointment on Thursday at eight, so I'm going to be a little late."

"Ok," he nods.

"It's ok for her to go to the eye doctor? I almost died from an infected tooth," Tony points out.

"But you didn't. If she needs glasses, and drives us around without them, she could kill all of us," Tim remarks.

"Maybe you should get you should drive her," Gibbs suggests to Tony.

"Why do I have to be her chauffer?"

"If she crashes her car on the way here from her appointment I'm going to have to listen to you whine about it, and I may have to kill you."

"Fair enough."

"I don't need him to drive me," Ziva chimes in.

"It will give you two a chance to talk."

"About what?" Tony questions.

"How you can get along," Gibbs answers.

"We get along fine."

"Are you sure about that?" Tim raises an eyebrow.

"Boss..."

The phone rings. After a few seconds Gibbs vacates his seat, and without a word the whole team grabs their bags.

"Where are we headed?" Tony questions.

"Reston," Gibbs replies.

"Dead gunnery sergeant."

"Ok."


	5. Lovin You Against My Will

He knocks on her door. She opens it, and lets him in.

"I thought I was meeting you outside."

"You were, but I need to hit the head," he admits.

"You know where the bathroom is."

He makes his way to the bathroom. After he finishes he goes to wash his hands.

After a few minutes she goes to the bathroom, and knocks on the door.

"It's open," he answers.

"Come on, I'm going to be late."

He opens the door. "You're not going to see the eye doctor, are you?"

She doesn't reply. She just stares at him, as he holds out an empty box. She looks away.

"Can we go now?" she asks.

"Answer me," he says sharply.

"No," she replies coldly.

"Where am I taking you?"

"To a doctor's appointment."

"What kind of appointment?"

"I don't want to do this," she answers.

"Do what?"

"This," she answers.

He points to the box, "You don't want to do this?"

"Not that."

"Then what?"

"I don't want to have this conversation."

"The elephant in the room isn't going anywhere."

"Can we discuss it in the car, I don't want to be late."

"Fine," he agrees.

They drive a few blocks in silence. She stares out the window, and he watches the road as he drives.

"This, is what the other night was about?"

"Does it matter?"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he seethes.

"I didn't want to."

"That isn't a good enough reason."

"I don't want to do this with you."

"Have this discussion?"

"No, I don't want you to be a part of this."

"Why not? I think that I have a right to be."

"Do nott start acting noble now."

"How long have you known?"

"A month."

"When were you planning on telling me?"

"I wasn't."

"Why not?"

"I didn't want you to know."

"You'd rather do it alone, than with me?"

"Yes," she answers.

"That's a lie."

"Tony, just stop!" she insists on the verge of tears. "You are not making this any better. Do you have any idea what this is like for me?"

"No, how could I?"

"How am I supposed to talk to you, when you're so damn angry?"

"I can't believe that you didn't want to tell me."

"Why would I? Have you given me any reason to?"

He takes a few seconds to answer, "No."

"Now you know, so can we just forget about it?"

"Forget about it? Is that possible?"

"No, I guess not. Tony we have made it impossible to forget. We have made it impossible to ignore the fact that for five years we have..."

"Gone at each other, every chance we got?"

"And now... there's nothing we can do about it. I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. I didn't think that it would get this complicated. I didn't think that..."

"You would get pregnant."

"How could I know that I would? It wasn't a thought that had really crossed my mind, until I was staring at that stupid, little plus sign."

"So what are we going to do?"

"Tony there is no we. It's me. You don't get a vote. You don't get an opinion."

"It's half mine," he argues.

"This isn't a house, or a car that we're disputing in a divorce settlement. We are having a baby," she shouts, "Damn it! We're having a baby."

"Do you want a baby?"

"You don't."

"Ziva, you already told me that what I want doesn't matter."

"It doesn't. I'm having it," she answers before he can ask.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she nods in tears.

"Ok."

"I never thought that I would have to deal with this. This was never part of my plan."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I just want you to drive," she answers.

"Ok," he nods.

The last five minutes of the ride are filled with an icy silence. He pulls into the parking lot.

"Don't come with me," she tells him as she opens the door. She gets out.

"I love you," he whispers.

She slams the door, but she doesn't move. She stands frozen for a moment. She takes a deep breath, and walks away from the car. After a couple of minutes in the waiting room he takes a seat next to her.

"I told you not to come in with me."

"Too bad."

"Go back to the car."

"No. I know you heard me."

"Why would you say that?"


	6. Unnecessary Parts

"I thought that it was time you knew."

"I don't believe it."

"Why not? You think that you're second fiddle, but the truth is, you're the whole symphony."

"Your charm will not work on me."

"It usually does," he smiles.

"Not anymore," she argues.

A nurse calls her name. They follow the nurse to an exam room. For most of the exam Ziva is extremely irritated. Tony watches her face, the whole time.

Finally the doctor suggests, "Lets take a look at your baby."

Tony and Ziva stare at the screen. The doctor listens to the heartbeat for a few moments, and then freezes the picture.

"There's your baby," he points.

"Can you tell what it is?" Tony questions.

"It's too early. She's only ten to eleven weeks along."

"Oh."

Tony looks at Ziva. He notices tears falling down her cheeks.

"Are you ok?" he questions.

"Fine," she answers.

The doctor leaves the room. Ziva proceeds to get dressed, and the nurse brings in the sonogram pictures. Tony watches her closely. When they get back into the car, she turns to him.

"Stop staring at me," she insists.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I didn't think that you'd cry."

"You think, I thought that I would? I did not think I would."

"So why did you?"

"Because it is real," she admits.

"Yeah," he nods, "It's real. We're having a baby."

"I know. I was there," she smiles.

"Just now, or when it was conceived," he jokes.

"Ha, ha," she rolls her eyes.

"So now what?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"How do we tell Gibbs?"

"He informed me that he already knows."

"Are you sure?"

"Where do you think I got the ginger tea from?"

"Is he mad?"

"He told me not to climb trees."

"Ziva..."

"What?"

"Are you angry at me, for doing this to you?"

"No," she admits.

"You seem angry."

"Not because of this," she admits.

"You're ok with this?"

"I did not say that."

"It's ok, if you're not. If you don't..."

"want this?" she finishes his sentence.

"Right."

"I want this," she admits.

"Good."

"Good?"

"I've been waiting for you to be ready."

"To have a baby?" She raises an eyebrow.

"For me to say, what I'm about to say."

"Which is what?"

"I saw you and I kept trying to figure out how I was going to get this beautiful girl home. And when I did, I realized that... I didn't want it to be over. I never wanted to let you go. After that first night, I knew that I had to figure out a way to convince you that we could be good together, and not just in bed, or in the field. I thought you'd never want more. You're you, and you don't want to let anyone in. I thought that you were the unattainable girl, and that's what made every moment so much more meaningful."

"Really?"

"Then I figured you out."

"You figured me out? This I have got to hear."

"Your whole life you've been pushing people away. You've been waiting for someone to push back. To accept you for who you are, and call you on it. To want to be with you, just the way you are."

"So what do you want?"

"Just to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"I deserve that, and you deserve proof. Let me prove it to you. Just give me that chance. I'm not always perfect, but...I want this, and I'll do anything to have it."

"I will give you one chance," she agrees.

"I can't believe that you're having a baby. That we're having a baby. We're the least qualified people in the whole world."

"I know."

"I hope that it can take care of itself."

When they reach the squad room at NCIS Gibbs is on the phone. They both part ways, heading to their desks.

"Don't sit down, we've got a dead petty officer," Gibbs tells them.

They grab their stuff, and follow him to the elevator.

"We're headed to Bethesda. The paper boy threw the paper behind the bushes. Went to get it, and saw the dead petty officer through the window."

"How was your eye doctor's appointment?" Tim questions Ziva.

"It was fine," she admits, "I don't need glasses."

"Tony is she telling the truth?" Gibbs questions.

"Yes."

"So you did go in with her?"

"Unfortunately," he comments.

"The doctor didn't find anything unusual?" Gibbs questions further.

"Nope. Everything is normal. No unnecessary parts floating around in there, either."

"I get the feeling we're not really talking about the eye doctor, are we?" Tim remarks.


	7. Clear, Sort Of

They arrive on the scene. Gibbs, and Tony clear the first floor. Tim, and Ziva go upstairs to clear it.

"Clear," Gibbs yells.

"Clear," Tony adds.

"Clear," Tim yells from upstairs.

Ziva doesn't calls out.

"Ziva are you clear?" Gibbs calls from the bottom of the staircase.

"Sort of," she answers.

"Sort of? How can you be sort of clear?"

Tim walks across the hall where Ziva is. "Boss she's right. We're sort of clear."

"There is no such thing as sort of clear," he argues as he starts up the stairs.

He reaches the top of the stairs, and goes into the first room on the left. He finds Tim standing in the middle of the room. Ziva stands closer to the wall, facing the window. She stares at something between her and the wall.

Gibbs stares at the crib. Inside a baby stares up at Ziva. The baby stands in the crib, holding onto the side rail. Her bottom lip starts to quiver.

"You better pick her up," Gibbs insists.

"Why?" Ziva questions.

Tim snaps a quick picture, "Cause she's going to start crying," Tim reveals.

Ziva quickly unholsters her gun, and hands it to Tim, who is standing behind her. She then turns around and lifts the baby out of the crib. The baby rests her head on Ziva's shoulder.

"We just got lucky, she likes you," Gibbs comments.

"What do you want me to do with her?" Ziva questions, beginning to panic.

"Keep an eye on her until we're done. We'll call social services when we get back."

"Why me? I don't know what I'm doing," she answers.

"She could be evidence, we don't want to break the chain of custody," Tim smiles.

"Before you do anything else with her, you should probably change her," Gibbs instructs. With that he, and Tim leave the room. Ziva places the baby on the changing table, and pulls out a diaper, and a box of wipes. The little blonde baby stares up at her, with big green eyes.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she admits as she begins to unzip the baby's footy pajamas. She slips the outfit off of the baby, and proceeds to unfastens the tabs to her diaper. Luckily, for her, the baby doesn't squirm, or cry. She tosses the diaper in a can by the changing table. She feels the pajama's, and finds that they're soaked with sweat. She scoops the little girl up off the changing table, and moves over to the closet. She pulls the door open, and takes a step back.

"Gibbs," she calls out.

Gibbs is in the room with her ten seconds later. "We've got a problem," she points to the body in the closet. Gibbs moves over to the dresser. With his gloves he pulls open the drawer. He pulls out another sleeper. He hands it to Ziva. She quickly dresses the baby.

"What did you touch?" he questions.

"The baby, the diapers, and wipes, and the door handle on the closet."

"Ok. Take her downstairs. There is a play pen in the kitchen."

"Ok," she agrees.

She carries the baby down the stairs. She finds Tony processing the edge of the living room. He looks over at her as she places the baby in the play pen.

"I thought you got lost."

"No."

"That's why you were sort of clear?"

"When I went to change her clothes I found another body," she adds. She pulls on a pair of gloves. She grabs her stuff, to begin processing the kitchen. The baby starts to cry.

"I think that you broke the baby," he teases.

"Why is she crying?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

She looks at the baby. The baby cries, and reaches up for her. Ziva lifts her out of the play pen, and she instantly stops crying.

"How am I supposed to process anything, if I'm have to hold her?"

"You don't," Gibbs replies.

"I get to hold the baby?"

"Yes."

"Because I'm the girl?"

"Because you found her, and she likes you."

"She probably likes you too," Ziva guesses.

Gibbs reaches for the little girl. She buries her head in Ziva's shoulder.

"I don't think so."

"Why does she like me? I don't know what to do with her."

"I guess you should learn."

"So now what? I just get to stand her and hold her?"

"Go see if you can find a carseat, and diaper bag," she answers.

He reaches for the baby, "Put gloves on," he tells her.

She hands him the baby. She instantly begins to cry. Ziva quickly pulls on her gloves. Gibbs returns the infant to her. She moves over to a closet between the living room, and the kitchen.

"There better not be a body in this one," she comments as the reaches for the knob. She pulls the closet open, and finds a carseat on the floor. Hanging on a hook is a diaper bag. She flips the flap of the diaper bag open. She rummages through it. A couple of changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, a blanket, a pacifier, and bottles. She touches the bottles.

"Gibbs."

"Did you find another body?" he questions moving towards her.

"No," she shakes her head.

"What's the problem?"

"You refrigerate bottles, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"There are bottles in here, they're still cold."

He returns to the living room.

"Ducky how long has he been dead?" Gibbs questions.

Ducky pulls out the thermometer, "Less than two hours," he replies.

"So they killed him and..." Ziva begins.

"The mother," Tim reveals, "Amy Bradley. She's the petty officer's wife, and the baby's mother."

"Does the baby have a name?" Gibbs questions.

"Ella," Tim reveals.

"Someone killed the petty officer, and his wife, and left the baby?" Tim inquires.

"The baby is no threat. She can't tell us what happened," Ziva points out.

"I guess I'm surprised that he didn't take the baby."

"Why Tim?" Gibbs asks.

"Their safe is empty. Every drawer upstairs has been pulled out and thrown on the ground. He was looking for something. If he wanted money, he could have taken the baby."

"Maybe he was interrupted," Tony suggests.


	8. Tough Calls

By eighteen hundred, they are no closer to catching the killer than they were are at ten hundred. Ziva sits in her chair, with a sleeping baby snuggled up against her.

"Gibbs I thought that you were going to call social services," Tim points out.

"If this guy is after her, we can't send her with social services," he answers.

Ziva looks over at him. "What does that mean?" she questions.

"It means that she's going home with you, tonight."

"Me? I don't know what I'm doing."

"You're the only one us that she likes. Gibbs makes her cry. She throws things at McGee, and..."

"She screamed when she had to sit next to you in the car," Ziva smiles.

"Ziva she's going home with you tonight, and that's final."

"She's an ten month old baby. What if I break her?"

"You won't break her," he rolls his eyes.

The baby begins to move. Ziva's eyes immediately shift their focus.

"Ella," she says softly.

Ella pushes away from her. Ziva sits her on the edge of her desk. Ella just stares at her.

"Did you have a good nap?" Ziva questions.

"Hi," Ella waves at her.

Ziva lifts her off the desk, onto her hip. She moves away from her desk.

"One of you has to take her for a minute. I need to pee," she admits.

They all avoid her eye contact. She walks over to Tony's desk.

"Ella," she whispers, "I need you to stay with Tony for a minute. Please don't scream at him."

"Ziva just take her with you," he answers.

Ziva holds Ella out to him. He reluctantly takes the baby from her. She leaves the squad room to go to the bathroom. Ella watches her, until she disappears out of sight.

Director Vance comes into the squad room. He walks over to Tony's desk. He takes a look at the baby.

"Is she going home with one of you tonight?" Vance questions.

"Yes Leon, she's going home with Ziva," Gibbs reveals.

Vance reaches for the baby. She smacks his hand.

"Ella, be nice," Tony warns.

Vance reaches for her once again. This time she bites his hand.

"Ow."

Tony tries not to laugh. Ziva returns to the squad room.

"Why does the director look so angry?" she questions as Leon heads up the stairs.

"Ella bit him," Tony reveals.

She smiles as she picks the little girl up.

"Ziva why don't you go ahead, and take her home?" Gibbs suggests.

"Ok," she agrees.

After she arrives home she showers, and attempts to put Ella to sleep. Ella refuses to stay in the play pen. After six tries Ziva lifts her out of the play pen, and places her in bed, next to her. Ella immediately stops squirming. Ziva flips off the light.

When the alarms goes off, she quickly smacks it, and flips on the lamp. She finds Ella still, sleeping. She lifts the little girl off the mattress, into her arms. She brushes a few strands of hair off the little girl's face.

"Ella, wake up."

An hour later she makes it to work. Gibbs is waiting on her when she gets off the elevator. He stares at her for a moment. Ella is on her hip, and on her shoulder she has a diaper bag.

"We caught the guy," Gibbs reveals.

"You stayed here all night?" she questions.

"Yep, I just sent DiNozzo, and McGee home."

"Who did it?"

"It turns out that Petty officer William Bradley was not Ella's biological father. Alex Brennan is really her father."

"He did this?"

"Amy Bradley wouldn't let him see Ella."

"So why didn't he take her?"

"He was interrupted. The paper boy scared him off."

"So what happens to her?"

"Amy's sister will be picking her up within the hour."

"Ok."

Forty minutes later Amy's sister arrives, and picks Ella up. After she leaves, Gibbs approaches Ziva.

"Are you going to be ok?" he questions.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were getting attached," Gibbs points out.

"No, I don't get attached," she argues.

"You were sad to see her go."

"I'm fine," she answers.

"How did yesterday go?"

"You made him go with me, because you wanted me to tell him, didn't you?"

"He needed to know."

"He knows."

"Are you two going to be ok?"

"Yeah," she nods.

"And if you're not?"

"I'll figure it out."

"Ziva you understand that things are going to change, right?"

"I'm beginning to realize that."

"You know how you felt just now?"

"Yeah," she nods.

"It's different when it's your child. You think that you're ready, but the first time that you leave them..."

"I'll be fine," she argues.

"It's not as easy as you think," he warns.

"I'll be fine," she repeats.

"It's ok for you to change."

"I know."

"You realize that soon this won't be your priority."

"I know."

"And that's ok."

"I don't want this to get in the way of work."

"It will."

"I won't let it," she argues.

"It will, and it won't bother you."


End file.
